I've Been Absent For A While

I can't even remember the date on the last post. I've not yet mastered the consistency of journal writing, paper or electronic. A lot has been going on, as it has I'm sure for everyone. It feels like pretty much everyone I know (and that is a generalization) is either getting engaged or getting married. In fact I have two close friends getting married on the exact same day. For one I am a bridesmaid and so for the other, I am left to resort to sending a message of congratulations and best wishes on Facebook. A lot of people I know (again, another generalization) is/did graduate from college this week or in the coming one. One chapter is ending and another is beginning. After A LOT of consideration and personal prayer I have come to the decision that school is not the place in life for me at the present moment. I was never really happy to be in school, very few people are, but I never pictured myself graduating from college. Never. I went because it was the thing all seniors leaving high school were supposed to do. You go to college, you get a degree, then you get a job. But the job, the path in life I want, while yes a degree would only help in giving me a kind of leg up, it also requires experience and practice that I was not being given at the campus I was attending. I was not on the "chosen, golden list". There is no trying to deny that it does not exist, it does, it is a fact of life. Granted, I have a strong feeling that the situation would have been mirrored at every other school I attended, not to mention in the industry itself. I guess what I am wanting is a chance, my chance to show what I've got what I can be worth to a project. It came as a lightbulb of inspiration when a teacher I had this past spring said that the best thing a performer can do while they wait for their big chance is to work, even if it means providing the work yourself. It was confirmed to me in  that moment that the very thought is not taboo, it is not unheard of, it is not something you don't do to get your name and your talent out there. In a way, wasn't that why YouTube and Myspace were created? Well, following those words of advice/council, that is exactly what I plan to do. The expectedly ironic thing is this: to get my name out there, to take advantage of the outlets that have been provided, I need money. This is not the ironic part. To make money I need a job, but the only job I want to be doing is one that requires getting my name out there, working; but to do that I need to be making money, there are things I have to be able to pay for! Do you see the expectedly ironic?!

So the task is set for of procuring the usually dreaded "summer job". I hear those words and the sentiment, "Blue, get a job." My mind automatically thinks...fast food...NO!!!! I will do almost anything not to have to resort to working fast food. I hold nothing against those employees or the industry by no means. I have worked it before and I have realized it takes a certain kind of person, one that is not me, to handle the job. For the job I want, I need both days and nights to be free to come to rehearsal, to come to a performance, to be available for a shoot...but I need a job to make the money to begin doing those things?! It is a never ending circle of misery!!!!

What do I do? This is a question that I have never been able to get  a solid answer on. One of two reactions occur upon my asking said question. The first is, people try to gently talk me into finding another path in life, finding the good in the jobs that are offered her. The second is, they loop the question back to me asking what it is I want to do? Are you hoping that my answer will have changed in the seconds since I asked you? I don't intend to disappoint, but the answer is still and will always be the same. The dilema will remain a constant in my life until I am able to come up with a plan that I decide not to talk my way out of in any manner. I guess I just turned the question back on myself with that statement.

Well, I just wanted to get back in touch. Make sure everyone knew that I was still around. Still dreaming with no signs of slowing down or stopping. There ya go!

So When People Bash...

Call me crazy...call me over-dramatic, but it really, REALLY annoys me when people bash/trash talk things that I like. Things that anyone likes. All the negativity and the making fun of...what's the point? Who is it really benefiting or making feel better? And does that really work?
This came up tonight when it came down to Twilight vs. The Vampire Diaries. Ok, I know that there are a ton of people everywhere that have taken sides and all that jazz...and I'm no different; I have my preferences, but I have stopped bashing on the other...just because I'm not a fan doesn't give me the right to make someone else feel bad or stupid or juvenile for liking it. Perhaps at my age, I'm too old to be blogging about something so insignificant as an argument of Twilight vs. Vampire Diaries. I guess the truth is, I don't like to hear that someone hates or dislikes something that brings me joy and entertainment. Is that stupid? Is that insignificant? Is that juvenile?

The Countdown Begins...

December 25th. Christmas Day. The one day in the year, the one time in the year when we are supposed to reflect something bigger than our mundane day to day lives. For most of us, this means thinking about Jesus Christ. For others it may not be so religiously centered. Regardless of where you stand, this time of year is when everyone remembers that we are all human beings. We remember that life is hard for pretty much everyone. We remember that out of the other months, this last one of the year is the time when we should all look out for one another.
It's also the time when, particularly on Christmas Day, we remember that the New Year is closing in on us. This is the time when we can better our lives. Most people I know take it seriously, we are determined to do a 180 degree change. Goals are listed and in the hours leading up to the change and welcoming of another year; everyone is enthusistic. How long do these changes last? It's a good question, one that ends up changing for everyone.
This year, I want to be one of the few, if any, that succeed at the goals I set for myself. This is a bold statement I realize. More likely than not, I am likely to fall short, as I have every other New Years. However, I am tired of coming up with excuses, not to mention the fact that I hate repeating excuses...where's the creativity in that?!
This post is simply to set the tone, gently remind any and all readers that that time of year is coming. Are you ready?